...and now for something completely different. (Wish me luck)

A few weeks ago, at the Barnes and Noble (my preferred spot to sit reserve), the woman in front of me paid for her beverage with a credit card that earned her frequent flier miles on my airline.
The barista saw me notice her card and smiled at me, and I replied "nice card."
The customer looked confused for a moment, and I laughed.

"Oh, I work for the airline."

Her confused expression softened to amusement, then instantly wrinkled as if preparing to ask a question.

"Let me ask you a question..."

Yeah, I deserved that.

She continued, "On my flight to Florida we didn't have any TVs or music or anything...and we were in First Class!"

To my infinite relief, I actually had an answer.

"Well, you were probably on one of our brand new 737-900s. They are so new that they haven't had a chance to install the entertainment system on all of them yet, but each will be outfitted with satellite television soon. Movies, 85 channels of live TV, the whole deal."

"Oh, that's great!"

"It will cost $6 in the main cabin," I then nodded respectfully to her, "but of course it's free for our first class customers."

If I had unintentionally laid it on a little thick she didn't notice and actually seemed quite pleased with the whole exchange. I was quite pleased as well, because that little bit of public relations was the most customer service I'd delivered in quite some time.

Just a day or two later I was woken by a call from my supervisor.

The general rule is "No News is Good News", but for some reason I answered.

She began, "The base is looking for 4-6 reserves to work promoting the new entertainment system to the flight attendants. I thought of you and would like to forward your name to the coordinator. OK?"

Talk about timing. I took it as a good omen and happily agreed. My mind filled with images of life with a line, flying around all day on our newest aircraft, instructing my fellow flight attendants and not pouring any drinks.

That was over a week ago and today, while on vacation in Annapolis, I finally got the call from Inflight.

"We need four reserves to learn the new system, then sit in the Duty Office for 8hr shifts to explain it to the flight attendants when they check in for their trips."

It's a 90hr guarantee (opposed to my current 83 hrs, which I haven't come close to breaking in months), as well as some taxable per diem (opposed the non-taxable stuff that I haven't been earning anyway).

"Sound good? Can I put you on the schedule?"

I didn't have a chance to run the numbers right there, but the flying lately has been abysmal, and it might be nice to have a little stability for the month.

I asked about the days off because I already have tickets to see the Ting Tings in Baltimore in May. She said she could keep my scheduled days off.

I was just about to accept when she said exactly when those 8hr shifts would be...5am to 1pm....everyday.

I audibly balked.

She laughed, "Come on, you're domestic, you should be used to those early check ins."

"Yeah, but not everyday."

I needed a few moments to think it over, and I said I'd call her back. But she called me first and said that there was another reserve interested and she needed my answer.

Remembering my encounter in the bookstore and the six figure paycheck I got last month (that's six figures if you include the decimal point)....I said yes.

I have a few more days of vacation to mentally prepare and report 5am Monday May 5.

What have I done?

Land Exploration

Ok, Ok. I know it's been a while, so I probably should open with a note of explanation.

If you are of a Freudian persuasion, you might suspect my blogging dry spell is repression of four months of being back on reserve. While reserve life certainly does leave it's psychological scars, more likely I've just been lazy. But don't feel slighted, as far as work goes, all you've missed is an updated schedule of airport alerts.

For those of you who haven't turned on a TV or radio, browsed a newspaper or spoken to another adult human for about 10 months, I regret to inform you that our economy is in a little trouble right now.

Last summer, anticipating a downturn, my airline offered flight attendants COLAs (company-offered-leaves of absence) for four, five or nine months. While on COLA FA's retain full seniority and health benefits, but basically don't work (and therefore don't get paid). Enough people chose this option, so no one had to be involuntarily furloughed.

This began in October, and the whole thing worked out GREAT for me because COLAs were granted in seniority order, so people above me took a few months off and I was able to hold a line (and there for my own destiny) for four fun-filled months! I worked a lot and it was fantastic. I picked up great layovers where I got to play tourist and visit friends.

But January brought the first round of returning Flight Attendants and the good times came to a screeching halt. Not only was I back on reserve, but I wasn't even used.

For the first time in two and a half years I didn't break my guarantee and I made only $75 in per diem (opposed to over $400 in December). When I did work, the trips were unproductive and unglamorous. But more often than not, the only time I donned the navy blue poly-blend was to sit Airport Alert.

So really, I've spared you four months of work complaints.

But though my wings have been clipped, I haven't stopped exploring.

Thanks to the works of Leo Tolstoy, Peter Kreeft and St. Francis de Sales I've visited 19th century Russia, Heaven and deep into my own soul respectively. If you count the Killers concert in January, I've not only hit NYC, but Cloud 9 as well!

And all this time grounded in New Jersey has given me more time with my friends here.

On March 5, season two of the Claire and Aaron show premiered by welcoming baby Miriam Elizabeth. And she's beautiful!

I've also had the chance to "bond" with the cafe regulars at Barnes and Noble and was graciously invited to my first Passover Seder.

So now, with the weather becoming more spring-like (I've gotten to take out the bike a few times already) coupled with hopes of increased summer flying (I just placed my bids for May, and I'm eagerly awaiting good news), I'm off to sit- you guessed it- Airport Alert at 7pm. After the 4:15 am and 6 am assignments of the past few weeks, even that seems like a treat.