It's been COLD in the northeast, so working an easy two-day trip to Fort Lauderdale the other day seemed like a pretty good idea. However, the weather made for a very bumpy ride.

Since we couldn't start the service right away, I sat in the back galley and began to read "The Memory Keeper's Daughter," which I had picked up that afternoon from the stack of abandoned books in a variety of languages loftily referred to as the "Inflight Library".

Before I could even get into the plot, a muscle-bound dude with a deep tan, tattoo murals and spiky, over-styled hair came to the back because he just had to have a drink.

The other flight attendant, a very chatty, over-rung Southern belle said, "sure," and Muscles took that as an invitation to explain why he needed a drink so bad.

He was escaping his wife for the weekend in Miami. She had discovered him cheating and taken him with her to confront the other woman.

Belle was shocked, but delighted.

He continued, without a hint of genuine remorse, "I know, I'm scum...but I love them both."

In the corner I tucked my nose further into my book, but when she said, "Well, at least you are honest about it," I couldn't help looking up with arched eyebrow.

I think Muscles noticed his new audience was not completely sympathetic.

"I don't know what I was thinking, they are both gorgeous....and you know the worst part...my wife is pregnant."

Belle literally squealed.
He continued, "so I've just go to figure out what I really want. I know I've got issues."

He must have picked up on the disgust I was radiating because he looked over at me and said, "look, she's disgusted."

I didn't disagree.

He shook his head on his stump of a neck and added thoughtfully, "I'll just have to write about it...I use this stuff in my music."

Of course, a musician.

"You should check out my band. We have a MySpace page. We play around Jersey, in Hoboken and stuff. I have a few CDs in my bag."

Finally, he went back to his seat, having at least enough good taste to leave a $5 tip, and eventually we were able to do the regular beverage service.

But he didn't forget to drop off a CD and a flier.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, if that is the case,  this one said "Jersey Band" about 500 times. It was a 5x7 soft-focus picture of Muscles looking seriously off into the distance with his bandmate, equally tacky but considerably younger, staring knowingly into the camera. All of this intertwinded with a wing and crown graphic similar to those found silkscreened on cheap tee-shirts.

I bit my lip and showed it to the third Flight Attendant who's eyes widened in horror.

I haven't listened to the CD yet so I can't give it a true review. I did use the card as a bookmark for a day or two, but honestly, it creeped me out a little and I was embarrassed to set it down while I read.

Now I think there's a yogurt coupon marking my place.